Illusions

My own words

Echoes and resonances 

The lies I whispered 

A hymn

Into my lover’s ears

An empty chest for her Valentine’s 

But a diamond necklace, 

For my mistress 
I believed it all

The illusions in my head

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Everything and anything 

Life isn’t about anything 

And yet, 

It is about everything after all 

The love I’ve  found, 

the lies,

these Blood diamonds

It isnt about you

It is about you

A cup out of the sea

Thirsty or not

One billion stars have fallen, 

and You are,

another shooting star 

With nothing that is everything,

and everything that Is anything 

Hell’s gate 

The hymns of the church,

Sounds of the bells at a hell’s gate

We kneel before blooded altars, 

Our hands bruised from wars of life
a dirty past or a tainted tomorrow 

The devil is not a liar

His mistress will choke you in your sleep
For the bottles are of glass

Crushed onto a hard rock

The taste of a dead wine may soak a burren field 
a wild wind, 
Chasing the colors of a fading love

Into a sunset,

A winter night

A red moon and hungry wolves

bleached withered roses,

Frozen by the Sea of souls 

With the rising smoke

Dancing in the flames

find me at the hell’s gate 

I hate the roses

a sequence,

an alternate universe

growing up,

would I be happy?

watching the lines on your face

draw around yours eyes,

your smile

your temples,

changing from black to snow

 

it hurts,

it breaks,

watching a boy the other day,

when he cried out to mummy

why don’t I know?

what it is?

how it is?

to run into a mother’s arms

Did I forget?

 

Was I reminded?

of a face I once knew

looking back into the old days

when this heart graced in naivety

when foolishness was no crime

and fear was adventurous

“Mother”

“I cant hold on”

“I cant hold on!”

 

these blurry faces are deceitful

despicable

traded my soul for dust

can’t roses be roses?

without the snakes,

crawling inside their gardens

it hurts,

it breaks,

Would I love again?

tears to the skies

​screams,

and hundred dollar bills

 

a squeaking bed

Working behind closed doors,

pleasures known to a faceless man

 

she suffocates in her tears

“I am happy or sad?”

she wonders

 

It feels so wrong,

but so right

Is this where I belong?

 

within a rush of a fading high,

and the agony of a broken heart

 

my waning spirit,

it drifts in this endless cosmos

as I watch its infinite stars,

burning out,

one at time,

 

to when I become devoured,

into its black hole

with my tears to the skies

 

 

empty universe

I cannot look into her eyes

the soul of a mother long gone

I hate my face in the mirror
I dread the stranger within

My sunken brown eyes are faded
Like the falling sand,
the statue of my self is erased

Life is a joke,
and I’m the clown
I perform to an empty theater,
and laugh at my own shadow

The voices are in my head,
the puppets and the songs
the whisperers and the screams

When I lay in the dark,
alone,

sometimes,
I close my eyes,
to the howls of my demons inside

Mother,
I’m married to the night

Someday I had hoped,
that when I’m done with my acts,

Maybe,
In the heavens,
where you live
We would laugh forever,
like we always did

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