That addiction

Life is a nothing but crossroads in all aspects of life. Its about choice. Thus we can clearly see that one can only take one path at a time. Thats the price for the use of time, for “time is like a river, one can never touch the some waters twice”, a wise man said. Luckily, one can cultivate his mind to imagine the altervative alongside a path chosen. With this, one could always choose better and probably live better.
And so we look at sin. Can one choose the same path every time one meets the same crossroad? Can one choose the same action every time one has to decide on whether to or not to sin? Well the choice with sin is about the virtues of doing what is right and not doing what one wishes to do. And so, character being merely a composition of different accumulated habits overtime becomes a major contributing factor to this choice. And with this, we look at habits that are addictive and seriously criticized by the society. Like gambling, smoking drinking among others. A man passing the same bar every morning may wish to stop drink but continuously visits it everyday. A man says to himself, just one more cigarette and I will surely be done this time. And in all, they may seem not to stop. Why?
And so here is this crossroad these men meet everyday from which two futures could be present. But alas they choose the “I will drink” or “I will smoke” paths ignoring the other. I like to assume that after thousands of times there is a probability that the other path would be choosen more often. Eventually developing an addiction of not doing it. And with that it will be a triumph for that person. And so, one could advise an addict to probably try it out till an infinite number as to some point, there will be a turning point.  But unfortunately, nature holds no empathy to he that chooses death over life, laziness over hardworking, folly over wisdom. Thus we resort to ones “will” to say no.
Honestly, we can’t say that all addicts are of no will hence are inferior.  Humans are addicts. Only that in this case, these particular humans are addicts to what is socially undesirable.  Thus it would be foolish to be quick to judge and not to understand.  But how does one build a will to say no to this daring problem? As for one, I look at every addiction in any life as an opportunity for one to build oneself. Imagine a spiral spring being compressed.  At every force applied on compression, is an equal or more force to be expelled after the release.  Now, imagine the capability of any addict after those many forces compressing him or her to a point of a no, I will never do this again. Imagine the explosion of all that kept building with in. Imagine the flames of that burning hate for all that one did. Well, one said mutual hatred is stronger than mutual love. He could be right. And will is simply love and hate. When one says he loves seeing happy faces, one simply hates seeing sad faces. Thus the will to put happy faces by helping others is simply the hate for seeing sad ones. And now, remember the hate inside any addict who wishes to stop. That addict clearly has the will to stop the habit. The will Is just not yet compressed enough as to lead to the big leap to freedom. The hate is just not yet strong enough to amount to the will to say no. The will to love be free of the mind. But as the hate grows, so is the will. The will to develop oneself completely in all aspects of life at all crossroads and not only for that habit. And so, the will is always there and it’s built unknowingly.
I thus believe that an addict stands a chance of a higher achievement in life as compared to a non addict. An addiction is an opportunity to build more in oneself towards greater achievements in life. Well, is he not a better man he that goes through hell and returns victorious to this earth? Wouldn’t that person accomplish more than any man will ever do? Ask around, most achievers passed through the hell of self-development as to do greater work. Their addictions could have been not socially undesirable, but they struggled through.

A silent fool

Everyday becomes one word less.
Ha! Oh God! What could this really be? A life for the words too?
Words grow, age and die. And so, isn’t that a life?
The more I think I know, the less the words. Cause what I get to know is that they just won’t get it.
And so, does silence make one a fool? Cause now I understand what the mind is. Its the loudest thing I have ever know.
I mean, literally its a continuous debate for almost all life. One topic after another. Some are concluded. Some are not.
This is the life we got from thinking. Thinking which is nothing but words. Words which are things. Things which we see or may see. Or may not.
Ha! I like the mind. I like to speak buy love to listen.
Its how am living now. A silent fool I would seem. But God knows why.


And now I know, you don’t know how bad an action looks like till you enjoy a company of fools who unknowingly help you “wiseman” to grieve endless for your stupid actions…
I don’t think am a perfectionist but I agree to some level of satisfaction from my deeds. Whether good or bad I would regret. Thus I say today, I did bad yesterday or may be will do the same tomorrow. But today, I will do good.
Then I think, so why should I be nice? I know not a just place for a just man under the heavens. So would I do bad? I wonder…
But truly, one can never get any satisfaction from what one thinks is wrong. And may or not get satisfaction from what one thinks is right. Thus I would conclude, the world is good and more bad. In all, man must try to find the good in it. That’s the fault in the stars. Or rather the games we play till we die. Endless games of chasing wind.
And then I learn today, even from a fool will come a big lesson that no man is better. We are teachers and examples to one another.
And so I do good, simply because I hold the end of all truly good deeds is happiness. But then in the end of all bad whether knowingly or not is regret…

The sin

And so I thought, I would let myself fall into this sin.So deep. I would may be find the answer.
I would see myself like in deep ocean with nothing around me…
I would see myself in a big space with nothing around me…
I knew at a certain I would feel may be totally nothing from this continuous torment to my own soul. For I know am no better than any other. Besides, sins I have done are known to me and God unlike you my brother.
I live everyday with my head just above the water. Afraid that I would drown. But surprisingly I never do. In a big flame which truly makes me thirsty but never burns me out.
I know not what I do and why I do it.
In all, am a jailer to my own happiness by my own actions.
Am starting to think that my mind is but another person. Its doesn’t regret anything but my soul cries.
I long for the days I thought I was pure. I would freely judge all. And it felt right. But now I know, the wiser one becomes, the sadder one may become. He was right. King Solomon was right. The only true happiness and sadness is wisdom.
But ironically I know I will keeping fighting even in the deep ocean,  deep space. For my energy is a stream of positive thoughts. And for sure, nothing is more that positive will. For it defeats energy itself…
And so what am I writing here… God knows.
Oh yeah! Its about a journey to the end of this sin. To may be fully understand it somehow.
“If I can’t fight u head on, so why not entertain this sin as to unveil its secrets?”

A blessing

Its sad and very nice how good sprouts from bad. From death is life. From failure is success. From sadness is happiness.  From darkness was and is light… in all there is good everywhere. The Bible is a proof to this and without explanation we have all realised this. 
I was sent to a boarding school once with but nothing. Only a bookes and pens.
At that time I was furious at my parent for her decision all because I was under “punishment”. It was a tough. In reality it was fate. Had it not been for that one time, I wouldn’t be writing this. This time would be have been an alternative history. I would have not gone to university on scholarship. May be yes or not. I would not be this or the me in the future.
In reality, its all about chance and the human choice. Chance was to be caught or not by my aunt. But I was caught. The choice was of two persons. My aunt and I. She could simply let it slip by or provide a punishment. If she let it slip by, thats another history. But she didn’t. Thus another choice was taken. Light or heavy punishment?  If a light punishment was administered, that’s another history. But a heavy punishment was given. And now comes my choice. I would either go light or heavy (angry) with the punishment. 
First, lets say i go light. I would be humble accept the punishment and probably continue my life as a carefree boy simply living every minute as it comes. But I didn’t.
Instead, driven by emotion I went angry with all these many questions in my head. “May be she didn’t really like me?” but who was wrong? Me or her?”  “Isnt she a monster? ” and many others. Thus by the way of probability, I choose to read hard. I don’t know if I read to prove am right or show her my wit and I was top of the class.
Remember I would have chosen to steal from other boys to fill the gap. But I couldn’t following my way of character. I can’t steal. That statement rings so loudly in my head almost everyday.
Thinking about it now, I realised the meaning of chance and choice in human lives where choices are either conscious or not. It doesn’t matter. In the end, God happened. From my misbehavior I now have a blessing which I can’t fully compliment to my being bright and hardworking alone.
Thus success is both good and bad in a mix. More ironically, from bad primarily.

A tip for success

So why give up after one mistake? For the only real mistake is one from which we learn nothing. That’s what Henry Ford said. Success is making a lot of small mistakes amidst big right decisions. But a big mistake makes no progress but destruction to the entire plan. So what is a mistake? A mistake is skiping a step while using the stairs. Whether u are going up or down, it doesn’t matter. You skipped a step unintentionally and u probably felt a scare for a fall or u actually fell. But u got up. Didn’t you? Thus from small mistakes we always get up. But if you fell and probably died, its logical to assume its was a big fall or “mistake” Thus a wise soldier knows if its the end of a battle or war…

The importance of little

Clearly the art of saving shows how wonderful little can do.
I like to think that its much more amazing how much little can do after a long period of time than what much can do after a short time.
U know clearly that “much” isn’t always available as compared to “little”. He is a one honest friend in most financial situations and among others.
Perhaps “much” will never be?  Or he just even doesn’t exist? Could it be little is always around in many replications that he becomes much?
After all, water in a tank is just a collection of many raindrops over time. Thus one doesn’t wait for the  much water to be at hand in one batch but rather collects patiently.
Like water in a tank, money is a collection of little savings overtime.
A wise man knows how to make rain by creating the clouds. Rich men don’t create money. they create things that make money. They just simply collect money overtime under different principles.
It is foolish to wait on an opportunity for much.